I only wear grasshopper greens as the color of my clothes not smudges

An avid grasshopper diver and collector of all kinds. (Yes that was actually a hobby I shared with my brother). I was always the muddy kid, trudging home probably with one missing shoe and a tear strung face, because my brother caught the biggest praying Mantis and wouldn’t hand it over to my grasshopper zoo. (Yes, I was also that sibling from hell…Sometimes).

I could have given a lecture on the different species of grasshoppers there were, or the difference in speed and physics behind the hopping/jumping speed of every specie or even the reaction rate and peripheral capacity and how it differs from one to the other. A lesson i had to learn to be so adept and catching and keeping my grasshopper zoo.

But being adept at catching grasshoppers (Tip: Cup your hands so as not to squish them)… Hahaha was a far cry from keeping them alive till the next day. I fed them, while giving them death by suffocation. And before you jump to conclusion on deciding my psychopathic tendencies.

Their deaths was all a matter of ignorance…. Because while my mother could be awe-ed by my inability to stay clean and play with Bugs and worms (A rare characteristics in Nigerian Mothers)… She however would not allow a grasshopper cage or zoo. So My zoo was nothing but a clear plastic bags where i held sardine like hoards of poor suffocating grasshoppers.

But just like many things in my life, I only learnt that while my grasshopper acquisition department was thriving. The Management however was poor after I had outgrown that obsession. It is also safe to say lack the magical green fingers (But that is another story)

And just like my ability to over crowd what might have been a thriving zoo, I tend to overcrowd my mind. What a metaphor for my life!…

It is Ironic that I am making this connection and yet a blessing that I am learning this exactly two decades after my Grasshopper Mania. (At one point, My aunt tired of disposing out collections, fried a bag of them (may their soul rest in peace) and threatened us to eat it. Needless to say, I couldn’t quite eat my zoo and at that point it was the most disgusting idea and punishment she could have come up with… Again, that threat did not stop my collection. If anything, I wanted to replenish my murdered zoo.

What have I been trying to say in this super long post on grasshoppers?

I don’t really know, Just that; I am not so different from that kid. I only wear grasshopper greens as the color of my clothes not smudges, I am certainly less muddy… Sometimes. And I am currently trying to manage my own existence while wearing a Jewel tone grasshopper green pant, Calamine lotion from head to toe (Literally) = and squinting at the light box in front of me while reminiscence on childhood past (of poison ivy rashes and being covered in the same calamine lotion after too many grass diving while grasshopper hunting .

If you picked anything else up from it. Then that’s quite amazing, because, i just cant help babbling on.


Have a wonderful day villagers.

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