As i watched or studied the sparse out date of my blog updates, i felt a sense of guilt. I would love to update and post as much as possible, i have so much to upload and say but why am i not doing so? I mean it’s not a surprise to me honestly since i have known for years that i cannot simply keep a diary either because i forget it in the most open of places, or i simply forget to enter into it.
So i have gone through my closet, drawers and boxes in search of every single diary i owned. I found some of them needless to say i am proud i could actually locate them. But then most of them were empty after the third or so entry. The ones that had the most entry were rather used as a calendar or a task book for me. Should i be ashamed that i can’t even pour out my heart in my own diary? There is really nothing wrong with that. It is what i tell myself
Why is my BLOG almost the same?
Because they both require the same religious entry which i have never been good at. Rituals, have never been my thing.
Why will my BLOG and my Diary differ from now on?
As i turned every stone in search of my diaries earlier. i remembered my fashion designing/drawing portfolio. Where i draw my ideas, where i draw what i want my tailor to make for me. As i unzipped the suitcase, my eyes caught the numerous napkins, papers, news papers in which i had spontaneously drawn a spontaneous idea that came to me. The more wonderful thing being that i was religious in making sure that every single of those designs, be it on a toilet paper, paper towel, exercise book found its way into the folder case. Why was this an epiphany? Fashion could be a ritual. Probably the only ritual i have kept from through my very tomboyish days up till this day. So i have made a pact, and even more seriously i am making it public.